Evaluating Pornography Pt. 3 (Conclusion)

One thing I’ve learned from “quitting” various addictions in life is that there is a profound difference between quitting and making a conscious, willful, intentional decision to never perform a particular action ever again.

Pornography is no different.  For those of us who really struggle, quitting pornography is like going on a crash diet of lettuce and water.  From the beginning, a crash diet is doomed to fail and leave the dieter back at Krispy Kreme in no time.

The successful diets really aren’t diets at all, they are lifestyle changes.  And that is the same philosophy we want to apply to killing pornography.  We don’t just want to quit, we want to change our life.  We want to make a conscious, willful, intentional decision to never look at pornography ever again.

Someone who has struggled with pornography for a long time will have a much more difficult time considering that than just contemplating quitting again.  Quitting gives us an out.  We even promise ourselves things like, “I’m not going to look at pornography this entire week.”  And sometimes we may be successful. 

But to pray and make a commitment to the Lord that, “I’m never, ever going to look at pornography ever again” is a different thing entirely.  As I’ve said, we have to be willful and intentional in how we go about something like this.  Something that has been a part of us for so long is like a cancer or a tumor.  It must be removed, but it will be painful.  It has become part of us, and separation won’t be easy.  The Bible even takes it one step further and says we must die:

 So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh–for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.                 -Romans 8:12-13

The trap we fall into is that we have been used to life according to the flesh.  We have grown so accustomed to the cancer that when it’s removed, a gaping hole is left in our minds, our time, and our hearts.  If we don’t quickly fill these holes, we are more likely to fall back into the same trap again. 

This is why I want to recommend some resources to you; because the only thing capable of filling those gaps is a desire and love for Christ, His word, and His people.  Of course, these are the things that should have had your heart from the beginning – before the cancer set in.  But now that we have removed the cancer, its time to put things back to the way they are supposed to be. 

The first and most important resource is a book by Joshua Harris called “Sex Is Not the Problem, Lust Is.”  This book was originally released under the title “Not Even a Hint.”  I’ve followed Josh Harris since his “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” days.  He’s about my age and I seem to be going through things at the same time he writes a book about them.

This book is concise, clear, and practical.  He rightly focuses the entire book around the gospel and shows how Christ’s death on the cross is what empowers and motivates us to put sin to death.  If you or somebody you know is struggling with pornography, buy this book.

Even though Harris’ book is short and easy to read, I understand some people just don’t like to read.  For those folks, John Macarthur has a world of resources free for the taking.  If you go to GTY.org, you can download thousands of Macarthur’s sermons for free.  There is one sermon in particular called “Hacking Agag to Pieces.”  It’s a violent sermon about a violent topic – killing sin.

Finally, I want to recommend a book to someone who has been involved with pornography for so long, they don’t know what they are going to do to replace it.  They haven’t had a healthy relationship with Christ for a long time and they need a little help getting back on track.  For this person, there is no better book that “Disciplines of a Godly Man” by R. Kent Hughes. 

Dr. Hughes dedicates the very first discipline to battling lust and pornography.  From that point on, he talks about the disciplines that are a necessary part of every Godly man’s life.  Believe me, after reading this book, you’ll be so busy passionately pursuing Christ and holiness that you won’t know where you ever found the time to look at pornography.

I hope this series has helped you.  These are some of the keys that helped me in my battle.  The thing to remember though is that no sermon, no blog, no book can do it for you.  I can beg, convince, and argue all day long but unless your heart is changed, you’ll go right back to where you were.  It is only when you embrace the cross and the Lordship of Christ that you can have victory over pornography. 

May you have victory in your battle,

JD

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Pornography